Acceptance and Raging Jealousy with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Illness

Just because I've long accepted my chronic illnesses doesn't mean I don't periodically wish for more. 

I've accepted who I am and feel well adjusted to my reality.  My limitations.  The fact that I can, in theory, do whatever I want but may be in great pain while doing it, pay for it greatly later, or completely peter out while in the middle of it.  I am still a loving, kind person who volunteers, helps friends, who is optimistic in light of many personal roadblocks.

But I'd be lying if I didn't voice the other side of it.  The feelings of raging jealousy at those who can do the things I'd love to do.

The 4 Types of People You Meet In Chronic-Land

Chronic-Land is a different kind of place: every member of the community has a diagnosis of some sort, or lives with substantial symptoms of something yet diagnosed.  It's members are on medications, use mobility aids, use heating pads, are on special diets, and have adapted their lift to the best of their ability to have the most function possible.  Chronic-Land covers the world, and nobody actively seeks to be part of it.

Members of Chronic-Land meet a lot of people after you've gaining citizenship.  This is an outline of some of the people I've met after joining, but it's also a guide to others.

Some of these people you'll meet have been part of your life forever, others will be new introductions.  But when it comes to being chronically ill, disability, and/or an invisible diagnosis, I've found that they fall into a couple of set categories:

1.  The Disbelievers
These people don't get it.  Maybe you don't "look" sick enough, or you don't need to use a mobility aid all the time, or have a diagnosis that is made primarily by exclusion.  Whatever it is, there is a part of them that thinks you may be faking it or that it just can't impact you on a serious level.  Like Tom Cruise, these people think that a healthy amount of exercise and vitamins will cure you, and they're frustrated that you don't get that.

What's in a Name? The Power in Naming Your Health Condition

I once read that it was helpful to be able to specifically yell at your illness or health problem.  Please, don't ask me where I read this, I have no idea.   But the point of the article was that there was power in naming whatever "it" was, both in terms of diagnosis but also in having something specific to direct your frustrations towards.  That you'd have a name to literally yell at.

At the time I only had fibromyalgia - now, that's quite the fancy name for this not so specific problem, but it was also a bit a mouthful.  And what would I be even yelling at?  My back pain?  My brain for not letting me fall asleep?  It felt...not quite right and lacking specificity.