How Asthma Changed My Awareness

I spent nearly a decade working for pediatric therapists, and because of this I was always surrounded by children.  Not once did I ever get the flu!  Ear infections?  Sure.  Strep?  Of course.  But I've always been big on getting my annual vaccine, and I chalked my "flu free zone" to just that: vaccines rock.

I've been in my new corporate job for just under two years.  Since I've been here I've had an ear infection, bronchitis, and the flu, twice!  Turns out adults are just as yucky as kids!

About a year into my new position I was diagnosed with asthma.  This was a whole new ballgame for me: if there's one thing that's always worked well, it's my lungs.  Well, I usually get an upper respiratory infection a year, but breathing, in general, always worked.  I may have a decent assortment of diagnoses (fibromyalgia, gastroparesis, interstitial cystitis) but hey, breathing?  This has been completely off my radar until asthma came along.

Why I'm Not Defined by My Chronic Illness

Until quite recently, I have avoided thinking too much about chronic illness and it's impact on my life.  I didn't want to become one of those people.  You know, those people whose chronic illness or disability becomes the soul of their identity. I thought it was either/or.  I didn't understand that identity could be a spectrum that is continually fluid.

This process of not only thinking about my identity and chronic illness, but documenting my thoughts in a cohesive way has been incredibly therapeutic.  I reflect, write, re-write.  I have drafts of thoughts, feelings, and events that I may never share because I can't figure out how to coherently express it.  No matter what, it's helped me process through a myriad of emotions that have been long lingering under the surface.  I feel like I'm letting parts of me free.

Am I in Control of My Body?

Compared to many, my chronic health issues are almost embarrassingly in check. I take my meds. I try to keep to a sleep schedule. I’m not regularly in substantial amounts of pain, and in fact have good days where pain isn’t a factor at all. I’m able to hold a well paid full time job with great benefits.  I miss maybe one day a year due to actual chronic illness related concerns. I know, compared to many, I am very, very lucky.