The Thought Thief: Fibro Fog

We all experience our symptoms differently, even those of us with the same diagnosis.  Because we simply are different people, we have different DNA, and we have different collections of health problems that invariably impact our individual chronic health experiences. 

For me, fibro fog is the oddest of my regular symptoms and I struggle to explain it.  People understand pain.  They understand exhaustion.  But let's be honest: fibro fog is one bizarre beast.  It's a thief that slips in and jostles our thoughts, scrambles our conversations, and wipes our memory.  It comes and goes, seemingly at will, but comes most often when I am sleep deprived and either leading into or while in a flare. It's like listening to the world while underwater: I can hear, I can see, but the world is garbled and unintelligible. 

Don't Call Me a Survivor

You're a survivor.  You're so brave.  You're so strong.  G-d bless your...whatever.

Singular words can't possibly encompass the experience. I find it infuriating.

The days before diagnosis.  Of symptoms and feeling sick, pain, and fear.  Of doctors appointments and referrals.  Labs, and X-rays and scans.  Referrals to specialists.  Of self doubt and fear.  Of increasing copays and bills and no end in sight.

Then of diagnosis.  Of relief and dismay.  Fighting with the insurance company and expensive medications.  Of both support and unhelpful suggestions from family and friends.  Of spiraling down the Google river and learning more than you ever thought possible.

How Asthma Changed My Awareness

I spent nearly a decade working for pediatric therapists, and because of this I was always surrounded by children.  Not once did I ever get the flu!  Ear infections?  Sure.  Strep?  Of course.  But I've always been big on getting my annual vaccine, and I chalked my "flu free zone" to just that: vaccines rock.

I've been in my new corporate job for just under two years.  Since I've been here I've had an ear infection, bronchitis, and the flu, twice!  Turns out adults are just as yucky as kids!

About a year into my new position I was diagnosed with asthma.  This was a whole new ballgame for me: if there's one thing that's always worked well, it's my lungs.  Well, I usually get an upper respiratory infection a year, but breathing, in general, always worked.  I may have a decent assortment of diagnoses (fibromyalgia, gastroparesis, interstitial cystitis) but hey, breathing?  This has been completely off my radar until asthma came along.