The 18 Thoughts for 18 Years of Living with Chronic Illiness/Pain

When you live with chronic illness and/or chronic pain, you learn a lot about yourself and your body.  You learn about the limits of humanity, of your own finances, and your emotional limits.  You learn about the difference between thrive and survive.  This isn't a finite list, and I'm sure I could come with way more than 18 lessons, but here are the ones that stuck out to me the most in the moment:

1. I'm really in tune with my body.  I can tell when I'm about to have a flare hours or days before it starts. With just one bite I can tell that a particular food will upset my gastroparesis.  I just know.
2. I have no idea what my body is up to.  My body does things without consulting me or giving me decent notice.  Flares start with no reason or indication.  Is that an interstitial cystitis flare or a UTI?  Why did I not sleep?  Why did that food upset my GP?  Friends and family ask, why?  Absolutely no idea.  Because it's Tuesday.  Because Mars is in retrograde. 

The Start of a Fibromyalgia Flare

Flare is such an apt name for it, as it seems to start small and comes out of nowhere, but grows shockingly and becomes all consuming.  In many ways, it consumes me.